Friday 31 August 2012

The road less travelled

'' they're all surrending one by one to the dark side of th force. Am I next?''

Breathe Annabelle, you're strong . It will not happen to YOU.

All my friends decided to get married this year.

I can't be further from that reality

Brighton Beach , the night before.

'' Nice view innit''

Me and British lover  ( who from now on decided to be called '' Ken Adams'' in this blog ( watch  episode 8.04 of friends to undertsand) had to hang out on the beach because we could not go Home to anywhere. We we staying in a 10 bed dormitory in our favourite hostel that night. And of course it was THE SAME 10 bed dorm( compliments from th staff who also got me drunk that night to propably test my devotion to my job) . 

Yes, even drunk I did sleep in MY OWN bed. My devotion for my job is stronger than anything else ( please don't make m do that again)

So, yes, My reality was VERY FAR from weddings as you can see.


Anyway , my friends all decided to travel the road less traveled. Getting married the way they wanted to get married. Not to please Auntie this, Grandma that or the Pope. Not even for security.  THEIR own way.

Respect for that.

My first friend who got married to her partrner of 13 years ( we all met the same year working in a school ) decided to do a suprise wedding. The official reason for gathering was for the civil christening of their 2 kids ( we call is Republican Christening. In other words : anti religious) Her catholic mother was already dying in the inside , but when they announced to everyone at the end of the ceremony that they were ALSO getting married that day she almost passed out.
They got married with to the loud sound of ska music. Which was totally THEM.

So... you can get married AND enjoy the day?

I was the witness of the first wedding with personality I d even been to. I almost changed my mind about it.
 
I was now invited to a wedding in Dublin.. A dear friend from Uni who was always anti marriage but decided to do it anyway.
He 's marrying a gorgeous Spanish girl in the country they currently live in.: Ireland. Now we're talking.

My friend is as spontanous and organized as me.

1 week before wedding :

'' Shit , I did not tell you. I'm not getting married on the 24th , there was no space , it's actually on the 23rd at 12am. Can you still come? PS : Can I be your wedding planner?''

Wedding day

I look at my ticket , I'm landing at 11.05 am . Exactly one hour before wedding.
There's me running around Dublin Airport . I have never run faster for a wedding maybe I will run as fast for mine. (But in the other direction? )

Thank God I'm a European citizen and passport control took me 2 seconds.'' Tanks a million''

40 minutes of bus later I jump in a taxi telling him he s got 10 whole minutes to cross Dublin's traffic while I put my make up on without a mirror ( now which one is the impossible task?)

What did he say? I've got no idea. He's Irish. It takes me about 2 days everytime to get used to Irish accent. Unfortunately I never stay more than 2 days.

All I understood was '' You smell nice'' and '' Are you going to take your top off too?''

Welcome to Ireland , me.

He made it on time. I gave him a good tip in that strange currency they call Euro. To me it's still a total confusion to pay in Euro AND speak English.

My friends were so cool they were waiting for ME to get married.

I'm introduced to everyone. Hola / Bonjour. No one speaks the other language properly but we all try.

I don't know many people but it doesn't matter. Try and isolate yourself in a group of french. Add Spanish to that and good luck to your shyness.

'' What's in that suitcase?'' I ask the groom's cousin.

'' Fromage de France '' He answers quite proudly.

''Que?'' Asks the Spanish next to me.

'' Queso de Francia'' I answer. Shit I do speak Spanish. YAY.

Yes, the guy had travelled all the way from France with a suitcase packed with goodies from our region in France . Their part of the region , '' le Haut Doubs'' is particurlaly famous for its sausage. '' La saucisse de Morteau'' . We ve called the groom that for year at Uni. So it was only fair.

Their wedding pictures mainly involves cheese and sausage. The only bit of Tradition they would allow.
 
In 2 seconds I was given the responsibilty of a baby I had never met ( their son , born last December) and we were all singing '' all you need is love '' with a bunch of Spanish and french people in Ireland.
'' Sorry , it's our first time'' my friend says to the Irish lady who was marrying them. How so emotional.
 
I was trying hard to speak 3 languages to the baby who was now staring at me as if telling me '' Dude, language does not matter. it's all about the energy we give out''
 
And he was right, language did not matter at that time. The witnesses did not speak a word of English but were having a good laugh and their happiness was way enough for them.
.
In the corner, the legal translator was getting bored of not having to translate anything for anyone. The Irish lady could not pronounce their names properly and was vaguely trying a Spanish accent and a French accent but at a very wrong time. My friends asked her to repeat many times as she had a strong irish accent.
As a huge fan of cultural diversity I also had to face the fact. There is no such thing as language barrier . All those people singing '' all you need is love'' to my best friend of 13 yars on his wedding day in Dublin gave me the chill. I wanted to say that to the baby but he already knew what I was feeling.
Language is overrated.
Kids know that more than anyone. French kids and Spanish kids started to naturally play together. They were speaking their own language to each other but no one needed a translator. They were just kids playing.
'' Mummy the Spanish kid broke my hair clip'' says that french little girl , very angry.
'' Forgive him darling , he is spanihsh'' mum says.
Ok then. She goes back playing with the kids from the other country, forgetting the anger. Why , at some point in our life, do we stop being like this????
Adults are a bit slower. On one side of the table, the french , on the other side the Spanish.We were sort of competing for noise. On that occasion the french were louder. Wow. Poor irish people around us.
We were in a posh irish restaurant where they do french cuisine better than the french ( it hurt our pride a little bit)
Beside me , the 40 year old single lady from the South of France whom I never met before was disappointed. I ask her why
'' Where are the vikings?'' she asks me, desperatly.
She was hoping to meet one of those big tall strong men with red hair and a helmet with horns.
As I was starting to disappoint her, the big tall irish waiter with red hair walks in. Before I could tell her about this culture being naturally reserved she was onto him asking for his name and adress ,kissing his cheek while taking a picture.
He did not say a word. I felt for him. I really did.
'' See what I told you '' she says to her friend.
'' Ask Annabelle, she'd know'' her friend replies.
I knew EXACTLY what the question was
'' Why are they so cold , it's like they have no emotion these people. Is that why they drink so much ? '' they both ask me at the same time, staring.
I start my usual speech. It's not cold, it's reserved. I tell them it also was a real big problem for me when I first moved to England. However Learning to be British ( ie more reserved and introvert) helped me a lot to balance my emotions out ( can you believe I used to be worse than that)
With time I learnt that cultures are meant to balance each othesr out.We are meant to hang out WITH each other. Not point out the faults in others ( like the french usually do with talent)
French should hang out with th Brits to learn to keep their emotions to themselves more ( way cheaper than anti depressant) and the Brits should hang out more with the french to express their emotions better ( way cheaper than booze)
Spanish should hang out with Germans to be more organized and German should hang out more with the Spanish to be LESS organized.
To me , it all makes sense. But I leave it up to you.
After half a dozen bottles of champagne , the french and the Spanish finally got together to speak frenglish , Spanglish , you name it.
I was so proud of my Spanish. I was now having a full on conversation with my friend's step dad. Actually , my spanish was still shit but I was drunk , so my confidence was showing ( thank you booze)
'' My step dad is asking if you are really French. You speak Spanish with a polish accent'' my friend says.
WHAT IS THE FUSS ABOUT ME BEING POLISH???
I show him my tattoo but it was too late. He called me '' la polaka'' for 2 days.
We all then moved to a local irish pub. The french , the spanish and the suitcase full of cheese.
'' My life is so different from yours. You're a traveller and all'' the groom tells me finally, with a hint of admiration and a pint of Guiness in his hand.
'' Darling , you 're a traveller too'' I tell him , looking at all his friends and family interacting in 3 languages.
He was way more of a traveller than me , in reality. He had travelled roads I did not even consider going one day . I look at his beautiful Spanish wife and their baby who was destined to be trilingual. He had taken that risk. He knew things I did not know because he had been there and done that. He had taken the road less travelled. Using tradition to his own advantage ( and not the other way round for once)

Yes, he already knew that the travellers' road is not supposed to be a lonely path in the end.

No, We don't have to do this alone.

That day was definitely the day when I had my first real glimpse of  the road less travelled.

When I was again reconsidering my view on Life ( I have to do it very often) , a unidentified flying object landed on me.
The last bit of tradition ...

I had caught The Bride 's bouquet.

OH DEAR.

Sunday 26 August 2012

Mind the gap

Traveling in Europe is fun. And easy. London - Dublin 1h.

Traveling in England is fun when you have a sense of humour and very complicated. London Gatwick- Canterbury 4 hours 15 minutes ( actual distance is 51 miles)

And that was just the train journey.

I usually go straight to Brighton. Because in England all roads lead to Brighton but this time, I decided to be daring and go ''straight'' to Canterbury.

Buying a train ticket in England requires a lot of cultural knowledge. What do you need to know? That there are shitloads of fares . You've got Family fares. You need to be 3 people. Yes, you can just grab 2 strangers randomly and go buy tickets together, it works too.

Day returns. You need to return before 2am the same day ( ie sober enough to watch the time) The off peak ticket : You need to sleep on a bench until 9 am , when you can finally get on the train or the ''Not via London ticket''

All you have to do is Always ask for the cheapest ticket.

The cheapeast ticket is usually to oh so famous '' not via london route'' . Unless you want to go to london of course . I'm sure they still have a not via London for London tough. Like you get off before and you walk the rest of the way or something.

The Question is : Where does London start? Usually Clapham Junction is still acceptable. Beyond that, it's game over. You need a new ticket.
 
Of course as a cheap almost Brit I booked my ''not via London'' ticket and I decided to trust the over worked ladies at the counter to guide me through the '' not via London '' game.

That's probably why I ended up in London Victoria. Anyway. It's a story worth telling so I'm not going to complain that the Brits give me more work as a travel writer.

'' Excuse me I 've got a ''not via London'' ticket and I want to go to..... '' I say to the lady
'' Platform 1 change twice and you 'll get to Clapham Junction You can go from there. NEXT . ''

I like this game. Riddles and that.

I should have noticed that she did not even listen to my destination but I was too happy to actually understand someone speaking ''proper'' English. ( I just got back from Dublin where all I did for 2 days was staring and smiling to people speaking a weird language to me)

So, the lady is programmed to re direct anyone to clapham junction ( the closest to London not via London) . Anyone as in ANYONE. Even people who are headed to the other side of the country.

Even stupid French who are on their way Home to Canterbury.

So I'm on the train. 2 stops later I'm at Clapham Junction , happily looking for my train to Canterbury.

I see a train lady who's politely answering all stupid questions with a smile that only the Brits can have.

Stupid questions like :
'' Where is Clapham junction?''
She would answer :
'' That is here , madam , you have reached your destination''

In France the answer would have probably been :

'' Stop taking the piss out of me , or I call the cops''

So I go to this lady and ask her what platform I should go to.

'' What zone is Canterbury in  ? '' she asks me.

OH DEAR.

Me, my french accent and my not via London ticket answered:

'' Canterbury is in Kent , not in London''

'' You have to go through London to get there from here then''

'' But I have a not via London ticket''

Stare.

We both look at the map.

Silence.

'' So how do you get to Canterbury from here without going through London then?''

'' I'M ASKING YOU'' I tell her

I had to go North and then South plus East and West. Then change at Redhill ( is that even a name of a place?)

'' Keep the map, have a good evening '' she tells me, defeated. ( but polite)

I look at my watch. 2 hours of travelling ''not via London'' already. SO what did I do? I jumped on a train to London Victoria. .

Just for the thrill of it.

I get there, smile my way through the gates . My clivage and my french accent have been my best partners throughout the years.
 
I text my friend/boss :
'' Shall I play french or pay the ''via london fee''
'' Play french'' he answers

Sounds good. I should have listened to him. He's a Brit, he knows.

Then , there it was. The guilt. My British side.

I surrendered ( my French side) and went to the ticket office.

'' I ended up here by mistake.'' I say

'' But you have a not via london ticket madam''

Thank you I realize that.

'' That'll be a lot more expensive madam''

Naughty girl who went through London for 2 minutes 30 seconds

'' 12 pounds 30 please'' he asks me.

'' Me francaise no English. Not know London good''

Too late to play French. I just swore in perfect English anyway. DAMN.

'' Can I just not go via London then?'' I ask him.

No reaction. Some Brits do not take British Humour.

I got on , the conductor looked at my clivage more than my '' any route'' ticket but at least , I was on the right part of the train. It divides on route. And who knows where you can end up. Somewhere like Herne Bay or something. ( of course I had done it before)

I got home with the feeling that the adventurous bit of my week end was in my own country ( as in England of course)
Travelling is like that. Would it be funny if it was just a straight line? If anything would always go according to plan , what would we have left to discover about the world and ourselves?

Thank you British railway....

Wednesday 22 August 2012

Behind every great man there is a great woman

This Life is like British weather. Unpredictable. you have  start relying on another level to live your Life. Because you realise that All you have ever been told about Life as we know it becomes totally obsolete.

You then learn that there is no such thing as .... Genders.

'' Lunch is ready!'' Big Sister yells from downstairs.

'' I am a lucky man! '' I say to on of the guests . I suddenly felt like the Bread winner of the family.

.I have been deep cleaning the whole hostel with the girls for 3 weeks now. And I like me lunch on the table when I finish work.

Yes, I deeply understand men who marry girls who can cook for them at anytime. I am one of them.
 
But Mama had to leave to Brighton again.

Me at 2pm after a hard cleaning session with a blank expression on my face, totally lost.

WHERE IS MY LUNCH?

The intern looks at me '' Annabelle , you're cooking today I'm off to the shower''

Who do you think I am? A freaking woman?

I finally resumed cooking for myself.

Guests , looking at what I'm cooking '' What is it Annabelle?''
Me : '' Survival''


Ok, so I tend to behave like a man sometimes. Is that alright doctor?
 
I have learnt in my travels that we all have a feminine and masculine side equally strong inside of us . We all are masculine and feminine.

Our feminine part feels the emotions and has the intuition , the creativity , the masculine part has the will power and acts. This blog post is a delighful mix of my feminine side and my masculine side. ( any tips welcome)

Somehow, sometime in History we started to think that Women represented the Feminine and Men , the masculine. It was easier to make people think that. Someone had to create a society. And teaching people to express both their masculine / feminne sides would have been a long and tiring job.

We're paid by the hour over here. Let's teach them some crap instead.

And God created schools....

So we get confused when our aim is actually quite simple : balance out our 2 sides to have the Life that we want.

I did not quite get the balance part yet, you may have gathered. I'm quite of an extreme version of both genders.
 
I'm a woman. You can't miss it. Men can rarely gather the will power to look up to see my eyes.

In other words I've got a mix of Al Bundy , Jean Claude Vandamme , Margaret Thatcher and Lady Diana living inside of me.

O joy.

In my bag I always have 2 books.

At the moment you cannot find more extreme.

'' 50 shades of Grey'' for the lady

And a book from Bill Bryson, my all times role model, for the man.

When people ask me why I 'm single........ I don't know what to say , really.

( If you have strange mix inside of you too , please apply within)

Most people have a problem expressing their feminine side ( '' I'm not gay mate'' or '' I'm too busy for that crap''  ) so it results in binge drinking , chain smoking , over working and over eating : the only way to repress the creativity that wants to get out.
 
Been there, done that. Now that it's finally expressing itself after 2 years of intense self discovery , I 've got to learn to cope with it.
I've become a writer and I cry when I can't make the whole world happy ( ie I very often cry) and I 'm so intensely in touch with my intuition that I know what most people feel around me ( quite handy at times) and I can guide them with my intuition too. Wow.

Yet, I'm the toughest emotionless person too. My manager calls me '' bitch'' because I make her run 45 minutes every morning at 6am.
I run BEHIND her to make sure she keeps going. My tough side scares me a little. Because it is VERY tough.

So, During the day, at work, it is either :

'' Annabelle made the intern cry again''
OR
'' Annabelle is crying again''
 
However I'm starting to learn the balance thingy  because I see it in others now. Especially my girl friends here.
 
Mama stands on a widnow seal with a hammer and a nail after we cleaned the whole hostel for 8 hours straight AND then cooks for 10 people , Big Sister comes and exterminates any spider you possibly can imagine with the emotion of a stone then she'll come to you and do your nails and hair , giggling.

But still , we have the image in our head of Life as we know it ( years of mind training I guess)

'' Come , now'' Big sister says . She wants to show me something she got me I suppose.. She gets me new clothes from Charity everyday now.

'' For you'' she says pointing at a guy.

I'm now in the garden staring at  Mister Muscle from Italy.

'' Hi'' I say to the guy , obvisously a guest, as suprised to see me standing there as I am to see him

'' Sorry but Who the F*** is he?'' I whisper to her.

'' Friend of the last Napolitan. You need Italian lover Annabelle. ''

SURE.... But I'm gonna pass on that one. Too much masculine here.( I'm not gay) I like my men sensitive too. Thanks.
 
Yes, in this life , you have to learn who you really are and experience things for yourself .

So why not just enjoy other people's company instead of asking them to give us what we already have inside of us?

Just saying...



Sunday 19 August 2012

English Summer ( Part I ?)


British Summer is one of those things that finally happens when you stopped expecting it. Like France winning the Eurovision ( still has not happened yet though) or anything you really want in life

Have you noticed? Whenever you want something REALLY bad you do not usually get it. The minute you realise you can do without it ? You get it. I try to do the same with money and convince myself that I do NOT need 5000 pounds. Failure so far but I still try.

This time last year I was living in a Buddhist monastery in the South of Thailand. Being ''the only tourist in the village'' after everyone left. I felt quite isolated amongst the nuns . I did consider becoming one of them at some point. It's the lack of social contact that stopped me ( yes, that's sad) 

This year , my wish of more people around me was granted at last :I tested my love for crowds to the maximum yesterday. I went to an English beach

So in Summer , in the South Hemisphere you naturally go to the beach. Over here , you start complaining about the heat and THEN you realise you can go to the beach and actually do like in the movies : chill out in the Sun.

So I drag my 60 year old friend from New Zealand with me to an English sandy beach. It was her first time on a beach on this side of the world.

It s a sandy beach but we could barely see the sand from the distance . It looked like THIS : 



It took us about 10 minutes to get over it.We were staring at the beach in the distance. Can we cope? Or not? 

  Although it should be natural for me , ze European who used to build castles on the packed beaches of Southern France as a kid , it was also a shock.

When you lived, even for a little while, in a country where there are more beaches than people( Australia) you are allowed to be in shock. So when you come from a country where there are more sheep than people AND  beaches together ( New Zealand) , it's even harder. 

'' You're alright darling?''  I tell her

No answer. Let s go get an ice cream.

The guy next to us is from Brazil. He's also speechless and even asks us to take a picture of him with the beach in the background. That must be his new facebook profile picture.

We finally get to the beach. Time to find a parking space 1 hour. Time we have remaining before getting a ticket 40 minutes. I'm telling you , 40 minutes is way enough to go for a swim over here.

Why? Because we're swimming in ... the North Sea! As in '' freezing cold water''

Very cheeky I decided to not tell my friend about the temperature of the water. I wave at her as she goes into the water ( someone has to stay behind to watch the bags)


She comes back

'' Mate , it 's freezing. You have to go in straight away. No time to think what day of the week it is , DIVE IN!''
She loved it. 

I can't believe how close to me other people are.

The woman next to me is chain smoking while reading yesterday's copy of the Sun. She is telling off her teenage son who's building a castle on my feet.

He looks at me raising his eyebrows to show me that he 's annoyed by her. She shouts louder. 

To my left there is a baby who is obviously walking for the first time. He comes straight to me and I end up cheering with the rest of the family. They speak indian but I understand what they mean.

No one could disturb the lady behind me. She's reading '' 50 shades of Grey''.

A bit further you've got Italians arguing ( or are they just talking?)

My turn to go in the water. People playing beach volley kick the ball in my direction for the 5th time.  1,2,3  dive in.
1,2,3 get out because 1/ it's frezing 2/ the parking ticket is no longer valid, we need to go now.

People in England get in line for everything . '' They are so polite''  , my Romanian friend told me the other day as a male car driver stopped to let us cross the street . I agreed although I knew he mainly did that to check out our bottoms while we were crossing . French male drivers should be that smart. Instead of swearing at you, they could just check you out looking polite. I love English Men. 

SO yes, to get out of the beach in England , you have to Queue too. You can spot the french and the italians straight away. It's the only people who totally ignore the system.

Queue? What queue?

I'm still french. But partly English too now. So I jump the Queue... politely. I invite my kiwi friend to do the same. She was saying something about bloody pommies anyway.

What an experience. A whole blog post about going to the beach. In Europe, everything is an experience. There are so many people , everything is a book , a story in itself. What a paradise for the writer that I am.

Where else can you walk past Charles Dickens' House in your Bikini anyway?

 *Wink*

And walk past a pub full of English men trying their best to not look like they're checking you out . ( I do love them) 

I got back home last night and was eager to share my experience of English beaches . I was a tour guide that night . One of my favourite events of the week. Taking a bunch foreigners around Canterbury and tell them about its history and customs like I was born here.I just love it.

Last night , my foreigners were mainly….. British. Mmmm that’s another story. Me , my made in France tattoo and my strange accent gathered enough courage to do the tour anyway.

I tell them about the tour I usually give to foreigners and they tell me they are so curious about what we ( ze foreigners) thinks about them that they ask me to pretend they ‘re not Brit.

Mmmm a wee bit risky. It showed me how much I know the culture anyway. 

‘’ You are so funny’’ they told me at the end of the tour.

In British English it means '' we had a good time'' . They are the only people I know who can take this sort of humour. Why? They invented it.

My answer was simple ‘’ I learn my humour from you guys.


The people. It's what I 'm interested about in the end.  And there is nothing like England in terms of multiculturalism. England is the country where we all learn to live together with our differences. It might be crowded, busy but …. Who would we be without each other?




Friday 17 August 2012

Smile , you're on camera!

'' I can't believe You said I was a pole dancer on national TV! You Italian , my revenge will be huge and nasty.'' I say to '' the last Napolitan''  ( that's the title of the book he s writing so it s his new nickname from now on)

 Giving a photocopy of his id card to a girl he s trying to hit on just to show her his age ,  that's the worst you can ever do to him. And I will one day.

'' It was your last chance to shine Annabelle'' he says , proud of what he had just done.

Yes, The hostel is going to participate to a TV show that's a bit similar to ''come dine with me'' but with people running places offering accommodation.
 
I was half sick in bed that morning and decided to leave my will power aside for one little morning and sleep in instead of my usual running / writing / working early plan.

8am

Big Sister : '' Annabelle, I kill you. TV is coming today, you 're the one making the rooms up remember ??? Go NOW . ''

So the only day I decide to let go of my will power is the day I have to make beds for the BBC???

One hour and a bit later the hostel was shining and we were ready to greet the lady with the camera. I even dressed in smart black and white ( the french maid in me)
 
'' Be natural '' Mama reminds us.

Natural seemed a bit daring...

'' Annabelle, don't be too natural'' she adds.

Now that's better.

A camera. That's crazy what you can tell about people according to their reaction to... a video camera. It's like handling a mirror to people.

Now we can all answer the question '' How would you behave in front of a TV camera?''
 
Some staff ran off to their room, hiding but still really curious of what was going on. ie , quietly taking the piss out of the rest of us. 3 of us bravely stayed out while mama was enjoying herself talking to it about the hostel.

'' I could get used to that'' she says

I did admire her. Her natural and ease, like she was born for the camera. Thank God I did not have to talk to it too much.

What did I think I would do in front of the camera?

Well first , scared to look stupid and totally shy and ......

'' The camera adds a few pounds'' the Dutch intern tells me to wind me up ( they love it)

'' I wonder how many cameras she s got'' I answer, not taking the bait this time.
 
After a few jokes that I could not resist ( such as '' if you're a tax man , call me'' or '' the male staff is working topless on Thursdays'' ) everyone relaxed and was natural when we were asked to be.

I then cross the room to get some bread for a staff member who was hiding when the girl with the camera asked me for my name again .

I answer, not knowing where to look. Feet? up? The girl? the camera?

Annabelle, stupid on English TV take 1.

'' So , Annabelle, what do you think of your manager?''

Mama was as suprised as me by the question.

I start mumbling stuff but all of a sudden something clicked and I said EXACTLY what I wanted to say to Mama but never did.
When do you tell you friend '' I admire you for being tough and strong and very efficient as a manager'' Ok , maybe after a couple of drinks. But then again you forget the next day.

5 minutes later mama was telling the camera girl what a bitch I was for making her run for 45 minutes every morning at 6am . With the hills and that.

Talk about natural.

5 miutes later I was proving the camera I was not polish by showing the camera my Made in France Tattoo.

Then the chance of my Life came. Me , the misunderstood, the one who wants to be heard.

'' Annabelle, why do you do this job?''

The camera was no longer there. I was talking to some higher forces about my passion in Life.

'' Working in a hostel is not only about checking people in . It's of course about high standard cleanliness but it's also making the travellers feel safely at home, make them feel they belong somwehere, to a huge family of the world to some extend. Only through travelling you can discover that if we are all different , we also are all the same.
Making people feel a part of the family , it 's that's we do here. Because we're all the same and we should not be scared of each other. Travelling is so important. ''

Mama was raising 2 thumbs up behind the camera. I could barely see her, I was so much into what I wanted to say. What I wanted to say to EVERYONE. For a very long time. Me, the misunderstood artist ( tears)

Then I showed her the gifts people offer us on check out because we have helped them.
 
'' So, Annabelle, you're single ... right?''

'' Yes I am, someone had to '' ( proud look on face)

'' This lifestyle must be pretty interesting!''

'' Yes, I....''

ANNABELLE SHUT UP ( the world is not ready for that)

'' I live a very different lifestyle from other people''

 CALL ME . (wink )

Job kept, dignity same. That was short.

What a day. When do we start '' Kipps Brother'' ? Me and Mama are up for it!

So advice from the wise one : If you really want to say something, say it to the camera and SMILE !

Monday 13 August 2012

Growing up

'' Civil partnership is NOT the same as marriage ! say for the millionth time to the girls.''

They obviously want to wind me up. AGAIN.

Just because I was telling them about my past. No matter what you do, your past is always catching up with you.

'' Annabelle, you were married!!!'' they tell me, laughing.

We all have a different thought system on Life

'' I was NEVER married''

To me and ze French , civil partnership is to marriage what fast food is to frecnh cuisine. You go sign a paper in a cold office and you can pay tax together happily ever after . That 's it. It's either for gay people or teachers .

We were teachers. Obviously. I am not going to tell you about my gay relationships quite yet ( read on) As the government sends the new teachers wherever they fancy ( mostly Paris ) me and my partner decided to get a civil partnership so I'm not sent to ze capital . Yes Paris vs marriage, I would chose marriage.

But it's NOT marriage , it s a civil partnership !!!!!!!!

France, July 2007
Guy in office : please sign here . And here. So ... are you happy? ( he had to say something romantic .The whole process in itself is NOT.

Us, together : Yes.

I meant it. I was the sort of happy I was taught to be. The '' I feel safe I found a very good man and I will soon have a safe job to go to'' happy. The '' I'm becoming an adult at last and I'm making everyone so proud,'' happy.

Grown up happy . He was like my best friend, my brother. Who needs physical attraction I mean. What counts is that we've got someone to grow old with , someone who could help you financially during hard times , sickness and failure.

Also know as a walking comfort zone

I was wearing a brown dress and my best friend was taking pictures of us in the nearest park in our hometown . It's called '' the English Garden'' . How ironic given the fact that I left him a year later to move to.... England .

Have you ever looked back to your Life with what you know now and thought it's hilarious?

I really felt happy and proud of reaching a high standard life. I had made it.

The oh so nice boyfriend, many friends around me and soon , a proper job.

But why is it I still think about that travelling thing?

A year before , I had decided to move back to France to get a real Life since my job working in a hostel in Canterbury , England was not bringing enough money ( thinking back I go HA-HA)  in and I studied to be a teacher. So why change my plans I mean , years of study to not make it in the end? Whether I liked it or not, it was my professional destiny.

It's good money , and it is job security. I can go work in hostels in July August. If I have enough savings that is.

Ok then.

Just like that I became a cover teacher in my old school and I met my '' husband'' ( it's a bloody civil partnership!!!!!!)

Yes, I felt happy to be so safe. Travelling can wait til I retire.In a few hours I will officially be a ....... teacher. The results are coming out and I know I succeded this year.

We go to a bar to celebrate the Union with friends and that. I look at myself in the mirror as I'm washing my hands later

'' WTF are you doing Annabelle? Grow up.''

That was the first time I heard the other little voice. The one that's telling you what you 're REALLY here for.

WHAT?

'' Seriously. Is this what you think Life is all about? COME ON''

Yes, I always knew it was not what I wanted to think about life . It's what others thought.

But who's got the guts to listen to THAT voice and think what you think ?

Certainly not me. But sometimes, life helps just a little bit.

I come back to sit down and my friends all had a sad face.

'' Annabelle, it's not for this year. You failed the exam''

The result had just come out and my name was not on the list.

WHAT? So I get to fail on my engagement day? Great.

Devastated ( and totally relieved for reasons I did not understand at the time too )

Poor Annabelle was always the one failing every attempt to be normal. And she tried again and again and again.........

'' Do you think we all are here for a reason?'' I would ask my ex every day , knowing that something was not quite right.

'' I don't know darling'' He would say to me.

Now he knows one thing . We are NOT here to be together . ( But he can have my furniture)

September 2008
Me : Look , I 've got a nice rental house, I ve got the sweetest boyfriend I love him , I have a safe job to go to , I have money saved up so.... why did I start to drink wine ALONE during the day ? Why am I feeling dead in the inside?
Psychologist : It's time to grow up , Annabelle.

I'm paying you 20 Euros an HOUR to hear this? That I'm NOT a grown up??! That's what I m trying to be !!!

Growing up : getting yourself a safe life. with a good man and job security.
The more boxes I ticked , the more wine I was drinking. Alone. In the afternoon. In my pretty house.
 
So maybe.... Growing up does not mean THAT to ME ?

WHAT?

Ok . How about trying to move back to England , clean toilets in a hostel for a living and live in a tent ?
Now that sounds a lot more grown up to ME.

London , November 2008 in an Indian restaurant.

I was going to do the first REAL grown up thing in my new Life . Leave my security behind.

Boyfriend : So you're coming back to France for Xmas then. I'lll wait. Then you might stay.In other words : you ll come back down to Earth and see what life is REALLY all about. Security and comfort.

There was nothing worse to me than people thinking I was now sick and running away from your responsibilities when I had actually just stopped doing that.

He had the '' you should see someone about it , it will help you grow up Annabelle'' sort of look

Helloooo I HAVE SEEN SOMEONE. That's why I'm here.

Growing up : forget what people expect you to think. Get out of your comfort zone to find out what YOU think.

What you really think about how you should live your life is buried somewhere inside of you . All it gets is the will to dig.

And did I dig for 4 years. ...

Now my vision of ''marriage'' slightly changed

Canterbury , now
'' Annabelle , did you get divorced at some point ? '' the girls ask me.

'' One of the partners has to sign a paper. The other one does not even need to be there. So I wasn't there. ''

'' U seen the paper?''

'' No but he told my mum.... And....''

''ANNABELLE IS STILL MARRIIIIIIIED'' they all joke.

SHIT. I never thought of that...

I had a beer ( ie I'm completely drunk) and I'm trying to explain what I deeply think about this sacred union

Annabelle is ''married''  now means to me :

1'/ '' Annabelle has got an Australian passport !''
2/ '' Annabelle has allowed someone she loved to get a french passport and he can now stay in Europe as long as he wants to ''

Then I stumble into bed , 4pm , drunk and married. I did not see that one coming either.

How different can we become when we just change our thinking. So , it ''just'' what it takes. To change your life you have to change what you think about it.

The bad news? It NEVER stops , that need for security , safety , comfort. You re still scared to lose your job, your friends , your money , your dog... . But with the years you learn to speak those 4 simple words louder and louder :

GET ON WITH IT .

(... and GROW UP. )

Saturday 11 August 2012

You can't buy your dream


'' Annabelle, for you. Wear this NOW''
Big Sister had been shopping again. I ve got 3 tops and... a necklace and earings? ?
'' But ... Why?'' I ask 
'' to thank you for all you do for us and the hostel ''
'' Ok thanks. But sorry I missed the part when I actually did anything for you? ''
 
So... I spend my time wanting the world to understand what I do and be grateful for my goodness and it comes only when I do..... NOTHING?

Ironic innit? 

I just do it   because I love it! I love Hostel work and I m actually really good at it when I don't play stupid

So is that is then. The secret of life and everything. ? DO WHAT YOU LOVE? 

I sort of knew it. So if you're  reading this thinking , shall I change my whole life and do what I love? Well.... do it. You ll get a silver necklace ( better than the golden medal for surviving a Life that's not yours anyway)

If you ve been following me for a while you surely know that taking stupid risks to do what you love cannot be as bad as not taking risks at all.

 Yes, you can survive for a a month in Australia with absolutely no money at all and no return ticket either. 

WHAT?  I'm now showing this as an example. Please do not try it at home but keep in mind that when you go the ''passion'' way , you are always strangely protected by.... Life?

The main thing that usually stops us from doing what we love is I CAN T AFFORD IT.

If I told you you'd have EXACTLY what you need when you need it , would you believe me? No? Time to read my blog again .... 

Right now I can always get by although I never know if I can afford to. I'm offered new clothes every week , I look like I can afford to look after myself ( wow That's a change) , I m doing a couple of extra hours to pay for good quality food and I can even eat like a normal person who has a Romanian Mama to cook for her. I sort of magically can afford to have an I phone too ( oh la la) How did that happen? 

Well, apart from that , you obviously have to chill out your vision of the world. And see the bigger picture of possibilities.If yo dont think week by week you are eaten with worry.

I currently technically cannot pay for my phone bill , my publisher, my credit card bill. But this is NOT the week to worry about it. It 's only in 2 weeks. ( it feels better now)  

My current money situation leads to some awesome conversations like this : 

Manager : '' So , Annabelle, you are going to a wedding in Dublin on the 23rd . When are you coming back?'' 
Me , clearing my throat to sound as professional as I can : '' I currently can not afford the ticket back but I will let you know when I can ''
Manager, used to it ''Ok, Sure''
.
I 've done it already. For my best friend's wedding in France. One week I pay for the way there , the following week for the way back. I plan my whole life week by week.

No I do not let my financial situation stop me from doing the things I want to do. That's probably why I haven't seen zero for quite a while.

Annabelle, traveller, sponsored by HSBC UK.

Guess what, I can even do the tourist bit too sometimes. I get free boat trips in Canterbury because I work in a hostel .The other day I was thinking I d like to see the White Cliffs of Dover .

Guess what my Kiwi lady friend comes to pick me up with her car yesterday and tells me

'' Let's go and see the White Cliffs of Dover''
Now where did that come from?

No idea. But I could get in for free as well .

Don't ask. Actually , yes ,  do ask , and it is given . That's what they say anyway. Ask and it is given. 

Whatever. 
 
'' We were both born on the 8 th Annabelle. The 8 is a money number'' She announces as we were on top of the White cliffs.
It's good to talk about the Universe and fairies sometimes. I've got her for that ( she's a Spiritual healer) 

'' Where the fuck is the money then?'' I answer. 

Ok maybe sometimes I do get mad about my financial situation. I forget that I ve got way enough to be happy RIGHT NOW and I blame invisible forces for not giving me more.

'' Look I ve been paying this bloody credit card debt for 6 months now and all I actually paid is 33 pounds. The rest? Charges.Given my current situation I technically will NEVER be able to pay it off ( don't tell the bank)'' 
I don't want to change my job, I love my Life I'm the happiest I ever been , screw working for money and shit.

But.... if everything stay like this, How do I make plans for Life????

As in , TRAVEL plans ( I don't see anything else I want to spend my money on. Plus it helps me understand my backpackers better and makes me better at my JOB. You know, the one that I love so much.'' 

Mmm catch 22 innit?

'' I'm absolutely pissed off that when I was a miserable teacher I had thousands of Euros saved up and no idea what to do with them besides buying sleeping pills and now that I live Ze Life, I've got debts in the bank? 

WTF?

'How do I take my friend who will recover from Cancer ( yes she will)  from Melbourne to Paris ? , How do I go visit my imaginary boyfriend in Canada? How do I go Home for the Summer holidays ( read '' Christmas in Australia) and how do I take you to France???? I tell her shortly after she asked me to come with her on a short trip to Monnet's gardens in September. 

As I said that her phone beeped. The message read '' Welcome to France, you can use your phone ....''
WHAT?

HAHA Very funny. 

We just walked on Water. After being Jesus for so long I 'm now being Moses. 

I stop moaning for a minute and I realise. I am standing at the top of The White Cliffs of Dover and I m not thinking to jump. This is absolutely stunning, I m here with a dear friend and I'm going home to my family after. 

I would never have thought that would be possible. 

Anything is possible in this Life . So Why worry about a few thousands of pounds that I don't even need right NOW?

That's what really always screws us up as Human beings. We think about the future too much.

Even when we live the Life of our dreams , We want the money to buy our Future. Like we don't trust the Dream is going to go according to plan anyway?

And you know what? I would have screwed my dream up if I had had the money to afford it. I probably would not even be here right now. And to be honest , there is no other place I'd rather be right now.

You don't buy your dream Life. You let it come to you . All it takes is guts to believe that anything is possible, because you know what?

Anything is possible....

What people think

When you live an original lifestyle  you have to Forget about what society wants you to be and be yourself. Get over what people expect to be and just be you,

Easy , you re going to think.My mother does not live here.

But other people do stay here. And I seem to have plenty of mothers at the moment.

'' Annabelle. I will take you seriously when you're engaged. And kids. At your age people don t live like this. ''

''I thought you were my friend and you loved me. Why do you wish me married then? '' I answer. That's ALWAYS what I answer. Inside it pisses me off that people still expect that of me.

This guy has been back from his holiday for 2 hours and he 's already pissing me off with marriage and kids.

' I m talking to my Italian friend. 50 something .He s been hiding his age to everyone including himself for the past decade. We ve known each other for 8 years.

We have fought for....... 8 years. Italian vs French. Ya know....

However We got more mature now ( sorry I got more mature) , we don't fight as loud as before.

'' Look who's talking anyway ? ' I add angrily. Did I mention he 's lived in this hostel for 8 years and he s been divorced for 8 years and never had any kids? He sure can talk about normality.

'' Yes, but I'm a man. Women have to get married at some point''

Sure , so in his world, women get married to.......... EACH OTHER?

I ignore, remembering that my travels made me a wise spiritual being.

'' F**** You '' I say, wisely .

'' Don't worry Annnabelle, you ll find someone like you one day. It's never too late to get a mortgage and a house '' says the Dutch intern who wants kids at 25 maximum because she does want to be an old mum ( she says that to ME)

Mum , is it you talking?

I finally told the Italian that he d be my witness if I ever got married. And the intern my maid of honor. There you go. Everyone happy. There is no need fighting what people think about the world.
(Mmm I should remember that more often. The french rebel in me , maybe.)
 
Our sense on how we should live our lives is still here , somewhere in our head. Even when you know that it s a load of rubbish.

Living with other people from different countries make you realise that :

1/ Every country has a slightly different vision of what's good and what 's bad ( look at French food vs English food for example)

2/ The only way you can understand each other is to go passed that and live on YOUR idea of how you should live YOUR life. When you do , It strangely inspire everyone else to do the same.



'' So you don't have a husband or a family?''

10 people are now staring at me , expecting me to explain. HOW COME?

The guests and me just sat down at the pub after I took them on a walking tour around town.

It had started with the usual '' Oh shit when was the cathedral built again '' and me on google from my phone. Last minute planning. aka Annabelle's way of Life.

I ve done this tour for 4 weeks. And for 4 weeks I forgot the ONLY date I was supposed to remember.  597 AD.

Anyway , it's a lot of fun , giving guided tours. Exactly when you think everyone is bored they all thank you for a very very good time.

I'm annoyed by the question. But I remember There is no need fighting what people think about the world

'' My family is those people I live with and why would I have a husband when there are new men coming to my home EVERYDAY?''

*Laughs*

My sense of humor always saves me (Thank you Britain)

I can't explain but something still bothers me. Some part of me still resists being different. And I want to explain myself ....
I do this because....

Who the hell cares what people think???

Mmmmm ME ? Shit.
 
 
'' She doesn't care , she's got a lover now'' says one of the interns.

'' That's such a french thing to do'' Replies the other

'' Her and Mama are on a diet '' adds someone else.

'' They're always drinking ! You two will lose weight when I am a virgin again'' Says Big Sister. And let me tell you it means A LOT.

Everyone laughs

HELLO I AM HERE...... I CAN HEAR YOU.

'' WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP JUDGING ME. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS JUDGE ME !!!??? I finally tell them after a couple of glasses. I am pissed off. It's always Annabelle this , Annabelle do not do this , you should do this. STOOOOOP.

'' Because you're such an easy target Annabelle, we love you for that'' joked the Dutch intern.

Conclusion : people are only taking the piss out of you ONLY because you let them. D'oh.

Born from a traveller dad and a ''what are the neighbours going to think'' mum, what did I expect?

GENETICS SUCKS.

I don't know how these 2 met and how they have been together for over 35 years but those genes cannot co exist peacefully inside of me any more.

2 solutions :
1/ Stop worrying about what people think and no longer do everything I can to please them or make myself look stupid to make them feel better about themselves ( my favourite)

2/ Stop my lifestyle Because I litterally do the opposite of what's expected anyway.

Mmmm.
 
'' I don't give a shit what people think'' says the 64 year old Spiritual healer I met in Brighton the other night when I asked her how she can openly say who she is ''in public'' ( witch)

She was wearing a pink dress and  make up, she was going to go clubbling with her grand daughter . And it's true. People did not want to take the piss out of her.

Because she did not let them. She takes full responsibilities for who she is.

*admiration*

The only way you can get any respect from people is when you stop caring about they think about you but still love them ....Just the way they are !


( Now Let's try that one out..... )

Thursday 9 August 2012

The best book

When you write a blog you sometimes forget one very important thing : People read it.

Or maybe 2 very important things. People read it AND it's NOT FICTION. Not that imaginary life that you always wanted to live. IT S YOUR REAL LIFE.
D'oh.

So sometimes I write stuff and I think it's totally hilarious STORIES

Until you've got a guy telling you that everybody strangely started to call him '' British lover'' . Then you feel REALLY REALLY SMALL.

Annabelle, This book is called your life.

No bullshit innit.

Then you start wondering how these people around take all these stories. Most of them have a good laugh ( I can here them from my room sometimes)

Well, This one was alright too and even added :

'' You can use my real name in your book Annabelle, that's okay ''

One who understood the values of Free advertising. Glad I can help.

Writing a blog about your life has one important impact on it : you tend to give your best . Not in the experience but in the way you see your experience. Writing it helps you get the best out of it and the best in everyone in it . Awesome.

But yet , ROUTINE HAPPENS.

I decided to have a break from my crazy routine. yes, as crazy as it is , when any life becomes your daily life it is becoming a routine. Routine is everywhere. Routine is when you give up on your potential for the sake of comfort.

ROUTINE KILLS . Even in this Life where the unexpected rules. It's just an attitude.

Routine makes you feel too comfortable , you are no longer giving your best.

You know it 's there when you don't think '' we are doing this tonight yay'' but '' we're doing this AGAIN?

So I try to spice up my routine on purpose so I push myself a little further everyday.

When I catch myself thinking that ''cake night is boring'' I know if I think that, the rest of the guests will feel that. That's what being the host really means.

When I feel that, I throw myself a challenge.

The best was when I decided to bake the cake myself. The other guests decided to bake too , as a back up. We all ended up in the kitchen burning cakes together.

We never attracted more people than that night. Super exciting.

Last time was funny too. I could feel the boredom just seeing me cutting a chocolate cake and serve it to people who were watching the Olympics.

Shit, what do I do. If I'm bored, they will be ALL bored. Imagine how boring it is going to be.
So I decided to do a quiz about the Olympics.

EVERYONE was then in the lounge , so keen on it. I obviously made it look like I had planned it 3 years ago. What do i do now. Google. Olympic quiz. Print.
I bullshited my way though it until .... SHIT WHERE ARE THE ANSWERS. Even then I gave my best to stay calm . People absolutely loved it.

Every week it's the same things for us but with different people. That's the challenge. Do your best to change that routine EVERYDAY. Because it's the same, yes, but it's different, oh yeah.

Make the ordinary extraordinary and watch things around you totally change. you give your best,

You know it's too late though when :

You no longer see the lovely guests having tea and cake in our beautiful garden as potential new friends.
You're more like :

'' Who the F**** is in MY garden?''

Mmmm time for a breaaaaak.

So what do I do? I GO TO ANOTHER HOSTEL. Sure. But it's all different . Because you got the hell out of that comfort zone that makes you lazy and complacent.

Here I go to our Brighton hostel last night with British lover and other friends this one will stay I guess) .

And you start giving your best again. New people, new surroundings, new exciting stories. You don't want to hear stories from people living in Brighton. Actually , yes you might want to.

That's how you end up talking to 64 year old Spiritual Healer who came down to party in Brighton with her grand daughter. Random? Yay.

Annabelle, you have now killed your routine you may start to live again.

That's when you feel alive again. When you stop being caught up by your story and all the bullshit you think your poor self. and get out there and give your best.

If you don't save yourself from that, No one will. ( harsh innit)

To celebrate I was drinking a glass of wine while texting Mama to NOT drink a glass of wine since we 're both on a healthy diet plan. She was having one too. I knew it.

Canterbury this morning

'' Soooo ? '' 6 pairs of eyes were looking at me when I got Home. Mama and the interns.
I did not write a post this morning. They wanted to now ZE story.
'' I watched telly with my best friend eating pizza at his flat ''

Reaction :

1/ Boooooring

2/ Oh dear, she did not get any , how many rooms are we going to deep clean this week?

Hey, it's my book innit? , eating pizza catching up meant the world to me .

We spent the day adding new pages to the Kipps family book all giving our best in our very different ways.
You know when you've made it , well to me anyway, when your life could be a book YOU would love to read.
Whether other people like reading it is not your problem . You don't like what you see? Change it, write a new page. There is nothing to change or add. Give the best of yourself for yourself

Shit how do I end this article nicely. I usually ALWAYS have super cool endings.

Mmmm ....

Text message as I was writing this

Boss : '' Congratulations.''

Tax return I think. I 'm freaking loaded yeah. How much? 3000? More? Australia here I come for a couple of weeks and.........

Me : ( still wanted to double check) FOR WHAT ?

Boss : Our Canterbury Hostel won the best staff award for last June in the whole of Europe.

Good endings come to you if you can spot them that is. it's a Just a matter of timing.

And Guess what? I was over the moon. Way happier than if it was the tax return ( ok as happy) . What I just learnt  for myself was gold.

What you give , is what you get.

So Why give less than the best ?

Your life , your book.

( good ending innit)

Monday 6 August 2012

Everything will be fine

When you start your shift at Kipps thinking you're in control and you know exactly what's going to happen today , you d better quit and go work at the Premier Inn.

At Kipps, if you don't welcome the unexpected , you will have a long , long day.

Unexpected : events that you cannot control or fix. It's usually for the worse.
I have the Sunday morning shift. Starts at 7 something , and by the time you finish
 at 4 you are a new person.
I hadn't had it for a while so I had some sort of expectations.
7.30 I finally look at my peanut butter toast and coffee and thought '' I deserve you''
I woke up at 5.20 , wrote my last blog post ,ran and arranged breakfast for guests. I had the golden 30 minutes in front me. Between the moment you arrive and the moment the first guests rush in for breakfast. You expect peace.
Sunday morning they either wake up at 7 or they don't at all , you have to kick them out of their room at 11am.
Today? They ALL woke up at 7am .
I'm in the kitchen explaining the breakfast times in Italian English , thinking bout my peanut butter sandwich that I did not have.

'' Eight O'cloooock. Ochoooo'' .

Shit it is Spanish?

And mama was up too. That? Not good news. It usually starts with : you know what happened night

'' You know what happened last night?'' she starts.

Oh dear.

I let go of the italians. I was now worried.

Last night 1 am

Mama '' you can't smoke in the garden it is closed''

Drunk Australian female guest '' I am not receiving orders from f**** Europeans , don't look at me like this Ass hole, to Muscular Romanian receptionnist.

15 minutes and some insults later, Aussie guest and kiwi boyfriend were deported to the street by immigration mamma.

They could hear her on the street. '' F***** foreigners!''

Australians in Australia : angels

You expect the same from them anywhere else in the world.

Australians in Europe ? mmmmm

Flashback Kipps Brighton a few months ago
Aussie guests : I'm sorry for bringing a girl back into the dorm , I was drunk and unaware. I will not do it again.

Me : yeah right. I've heard that before. The next thing they usually say is '' I'm here for a good time mate, not for a long time''

See what Europe is doing to people? They probably did not expect it to be like this either...

Conclusion : Wanna see aussies who are thinking straight ...... Go to Australia.
 
'' Ok so they're gone right? I ask her , trying to get over the fact that I was pissed off that Mama got insulted by some random strangers.

The door bell rings , it's 7.55am . My toast is still waiting for me in the office.

'' Sorry we're late'' 2 young boys from Belgium were standing at the door.

WHAT?

'' We were due to check in at 6AM , so we re a bit late''

SURE! So the Premier Inn is first left and then turn right and.......

It was their first time in a backapckers. They expected to go to bed straight away. I explain calmly that other people are sleeping in their beds right now. and that check in is at 2 pm.

Big eyes staring at me :

'' So what do we do now .... Mummy ?''

I take them to the breakkast room and tell them to sit in the lounge after.

The breakfast room is now PACKED with people because left unsupervised for 15 whole minutes.

Half of the hostel rushed in and followed the Italians who could not care less about the paper that said '' Breakfast is from 8 to 10''

EIGHT. OCHO. Whatever.

The german intern, responsible for breakfast starts her shift at 8am, expecting it to be like '' Everyday'' .

'' WTF is all that?'' she asks me , her organised German side taking over.

'' Bloody italians I say. You See now why we don't like them in France? They re just EXACTLY the same as us! '' I joke. Joking is the way I cope with the unexpected. I'm such a Brit.

In reality I'm trying to convince myself. '' Everything is going to be fine Annabelle......'' . and it was just 8am.

I ask the italian group for money for breakfast .They understand what they want : NOTHING.

The woman who can speak proper English is staying in the other hotel. says the 12 year old boy with them.

Right. ME WANT MONEY. I tell them , holding my piece of toast. My coffee is going cold.

I see them going in out in out.

the 2 Belgian kids were now expecting me to tell them what to do next.

'' Where can young people like US go in Canterbury now?'' he asks me.

Add , ''you old fart'' to that and you'll get how I felt.

''On a Sunday at 9 am in Canterbury , I would say that the coolest place is .... HERE. '' I say

Like me , All they wanted to hear was '' It's all going to be fine'' But you don't say that to men. You make them FEEL that ( lesson hard learnt)

The other half of the hostel has decided to have breakfast at 8.30am.

SUNDAY. isn't it the day everyone else CHILLS OUT ?

Flashback New Year's eve 2008.
Me to boss : Do you think we can drink tonight ?
Boss : yeah , No one wakes up early on New Year's day , we can have a nice early start with coffee and that.
The next day the WHOLE hostel wanted breakfast at 7am. Forget about the coffee and take aspirin. Happy New Year , us.
Never expect anything at Kipps.
 
 
It's now 10 am I ve been running around, getting money , trying to make sure everyone is ''fine'' . My toast is still untouched.

'' We can clear breakfast now'' I announce to the intern.

'' No, Santa Claus is having breakfast''

WHAT?

I get in and that guy who looks like Santa was changing the world with another guest.

Conversation :

Santa : '' If I was President , beer would be free for all, and there would be women for each man''

Other guest , '' Eyes filled with admiration : I vote for you. ''

President and Prime minister were then asked to move their philosophy to the lounge.

I'm still keeping an eye on the italians , the intern now tells me that she does not know where she's sleeping tonight because she's not on the system.

'' Everything is going to be fine'' I tell her.

No, I did not expect that. All you can do is hope for the best and strive for it.

I'm doing the cleaning schedule for the day. WHAT? 4 staff? ONLY?

We had lost 2 staff members recently. They had gone back home. It's like a part of us was gone with them ( yes we all are very close) and we did not have time or space to get over the loss.

I'm now having my cold coffee. The romanian night shift comes in after a chaotic night sleep and tells me his side of the Aussie story .

I send him home.

'' Breakfast was included !'' the italian woman who can speak English had finally arrived.

Be strong Annabelle, everything is going to be fine!

I take my calculator and explains that this number is the number with no breakfast.

22 minutes later she gives up and hands me her card
I got my bloody 10 quid in the end. VICTORY.

I start chatting with her and she tells me that they haven't planned anything for their trip and it's all a bit scary for them. They want to go to Scotland but they don't know what to expect.

I smile. Ok so it was all ALSO about that in the end, wasn't it?

'' I am sure you will make it '' I tell her meaning it.

She thanks me and off they went.

The Belgian kids are now asking me to play pool.
Mmmm sorry. Tiny bit busy right now.
 
11am. All problems from the morning got magically solved. The rest of the staff comes on. We tell the 2 million stories that happened.

'' Annabelle, repeat, I don't follow you. Italian what? Santa who?'' Dutchie is staring.

Oh dear. It's only 11 am and I ALREADY don't make sense. I expected more from me.

I send everyone to clean different rooms and try to go back to my own comfort zone aka deep cleaning.

'' Annabelle, come!'' the girls sensed my stress and had prepared a pile of duvets for me to jump on. We take a photo of that and post it on facebook so I could put a nail on the coffin of my job :

'' Easy job you have Annabelle, doing nothing but having fun. I envy your lifetyle'' my friends would say aftewards.

I smile and I try to imagine how many of my friends would actually handle the permanent unexpectedness of my job. And how we constantly re assure people about things we are not pretty sure ourselves.

 I come up with.... a few. But they can't know, can they???

I pressure the interns with another picture of the dorm I'll be taking at the end. The finished product cannot be less than perfect. It will be on facebook.

I go back later and I could hear them

'' Annabelle , you're going to kill us , we can't do as good as what you expect....'' the girls are scared shitless.

Expectations..... You don't want to start me on that.

A few re adjustments later the photo was taken , and we managed to finish the whole hostel before 2. Sometimes I think there are fairies helping us ( or is it the ghost)

I check in a couple of Spanish people later that afternoon. It's their first time in a hostel . I show them to the dorm and I can sense their distress.

The hungry, tired , insecure staff member in me wanted to say '' Get on with it , it's just a dorm. Bed. Sleep'' But the compassionate human being that I actually am took over. ( thank God or whoever)  I remembered.

September 2004

Kipps Staff : '' Annabelle, the private room you're in now is booked out from tomorrow, you'll have to move to a dorm''
Me ( a guest at the time) '' A what? Sharing with OTHER PEOPLE? OMG. This is so unexpected.
The first night I spent in the dorm, I cried because I was too scared. D'oh.

Same dorm , NOW

'' Everything is going to be fine , we're like a big family here. Any problems come to us '' I tell my Spanish guests
They look more relaxed now,

4pm after a whole day of tellin people that everything is going to be fine I stop work and I desperatly want to hear for myself. Me, my bank account , my original lifestyle, my blog that makes me feel I'm walking around naked because in it I say everything , ARE WE GOING TO BE FINE?

I go back to my empty room. No facebook message or emails. I face it for myself.

I cannot stop being strong. Not allowed sorry.

Breathe.

Later that day I catch myself writing '' With this Life filled with unexpected , no wonder I need a strong man to put his arm around me and tell me '' YOU are going to be fine Annabelle''

What did I do? I sent this to my Quebecois. Another bad move Annabelle. I expected the worst.

The answer came in a few hours. It was , for the least unexpected . One sentence

'' YOU are going to be fine , Annabelle''

Aaaaaaw cute. But he's NOT here, is he??? I switch off the lap top and go face the real world.

'' We have something for you '' the interns tell me . Poor girls I had persecuted them all day with cleaning standards. A card. The envelope read :

'' To our favourite deep cleaner and blogger''

And the card read '' Thank you for introducing us to the Art of deep cleaning with you '' There was love hearts everywhere.

How unexpected. Wow. ( tears)

'' Sit now, I cut your hair , I don't like it '' Big Sister now tells me.
'' But ...''
'' SIT NOW''

10 minutes later I had a new haircut and she had also got me a new top from the charity shop.

I never in a million years tought that my evening would turn up this way.

Mama had prepared a yummy meal and the family was all having dinner together, joking together.

We were all over the recent problems but they had made us stronger.

I look around me at this bunch of people calling each other family. German, Dutch , Romanian, Brits and me.... the citizen of the world still French enough to think that the unexpected was a bad thing.
Unexpected : events that you cannot control or fix. There is no need to be scared , It's ALWAYS FOR THE BEST. Synonym : miracle.

How do I know? All  my distress on the other side of the world , all my jobs unexpectedly lost got me BACK HERE to my first love , Kipps Canterbury., wthout EVER expecting it . And that, is a miracle in itself

No matter what you think your life should be like. If you let go of your expectations trust that you'll get where you want to go  anyway and never give up the fight , chances are you will get to an even better place than you ever thought it could be possible.

WE ARE ALL GOING TO BE  FINE.