Wednesday 22 June 2011

One for all

It’s cool to have backpacker friends. You can tell backpacker stories without boring anyone. You can have backpackers plans without sounding too much like a tourist. Yes we’re going to climb it, this mountain, and be the first to see the Sun in Australia. How cool will that be.

And you can say nasty things about the country you’re in without hurting anyone. But , no we did not find anything bad to say about Australia. My Japanese friend was even having Vegemite on toast for morning tea the other day.
But to feel good, The backpacker needs to blame the country for something. It’s like a birthright. Okay when it all goes wrong we can always blame the weather. That works really well in the UK. And this story about winter in summer is not right. We’re all expecting Christmas anytime soon. And guess what , pressies are months away. So not fair.
And then we talk about our backpacking experience in Australia. Well that’s when I stop talking. And smile. They were taking about the outback , about driving motorbike for miles ( sorry, kilometers) and the amazing things they had seen.
I’ve got to tell them the ugly truth. ‘’ I’ve stayed in a hostel once. For one night. When I landed. On 25th January. And in 6 months, I ‘ve traveled 37km. And a half. But I still have a backpack. I’m a backpacker!’’ To the answer ‘’why’’ they probably expected the answer ‘’ I wanted to extend my visa doing hard labor for 3 months ’’ ( yep you’re got to earn it mate) or ‘’ I have no money’’ or even worse ‘’ I am scared to travel by myself’’ I just told the truth ‘’ I just wanted to be with people’’. Lame.
And then I remembered that awesome trip I took to Armidale . 6hour 9minutes through New South Wales with my 26 year old car Chouchou. I was so proud of it! So what did you see in Armidale?’’ I looked at them , not understanding. ‘’ I saw… people of course! ‘’ I had snails in a French restaurant with friends I had met in England years ago. Beat that mate. Of course I remember what I see but I most remember whom I see it with.
‘’ I never stayed long enough anywhere to get attached to people’’ said John.

Backpackers are independent. I remember the feeling. I’ve done a round the world trip with this feeling in 2009. Japan, New Zealand , Australia, Fiji , Los Angeles. A month of frantic traveling from one capital city to another. From one hostel to another. And a sense of lack when you get home. Mmmmm what did I miss? I missed people. Yeah I even remember living a life of independence. ‘’ What? You want to do this for me? I a quite capable to do this by myself thank you’’ That’s how you end up coming back to a empty flat every night… and even like it.

A crazy French dude once said ‘’ Hell is other people’’. I see what he means. And if you have ever worked in hospitality you must know too!
‘’ Can you move our table in the Sun? I’m cold. Wait can we have half of it in the shade? She’s warm’’ ‘’ Can I have 2 of everything, in a separate box?’’
People are mean. They throw their frustration at you. They test you until you give in.They boss you around , insult you until you can’t take it.

‘’ People come to work here to be abused, it’s not MY fault’’ my boss Gary said one day. He is so awful with his staff that I decided to keep track of everything he says in a book ‘’ The evil Gary book’’. We even invented a Gary factor. We agreed to not talk to him when GF exceeds 4. And leave the premises when it reaches 6.People break your car, people call only on Fridays but forget about you the rest of the week, or they want to do everything for you because they must don’t YOU can do it. Hell IS other people.

So why did I miss the Great Barrier Reef for people then? Because they’re Heaven too Mate.

No I did not see much but I’ve learnt. From them. With them. I’ve learnt to put the exact right amount of vegemite on a toast to make it right , I've learnt to say Op Shop , Rego , Capsicum , Efpos machine ( like everyone else). I’ve learnt to block everything that Julia Gillard says and only focus on her hair cut (like everyone else) I’ve learnt to tolerate the embarrassing presence of Tony Abott (like everyone else), I’ve learnt the national anthem from a 6 year old Australian kid. I’ve learnt to say ‘’ G’day Mate’’ in an Aussie accent. And keep my French accent when it’s handy ( most of the time). I’ve learnt that the RTA is not good news and NRMA sucks , I've learnt to drink beer at 4am on Anzac Day. I’ve learnt how bad the war was from real soldiers. And how good it is to remember.

People give you , You know , that sense of belonging . When I returned to visit my first home 37 km away in Mount Burrell the other day, it was literally like going back Home to visit Mum and Dad. Because John and Sue ARE my Aussie mum and dad. They helped me to pick my car, we had morning tea together everyday for 3 months, they fed me when I had hard days at the other job and we even got drunk watching the Royal Wedding together. And when they invited their whole family for a birthday lunch , I was invited too.

And Evil Gary. He’s evil but how can you not love him when he says ‘’ you’ve got a job with me until you go. So you can pay your rent. Even if it’s scrubbing toilet you will work here and you will teach my son French’’ Thanks Gary. How delicate. I love him. He’s the most generous guy I’ve met. But don’t tell him that.

Even random people have something great for you if you look at it. Everyone has something to offer you. GUIDANCE. It could be a smile or a liquor from a customer when you feel down or sick ( bloody strong liquor by the way. Must have been French) It could be a random conversation with a stranger at the shop that reminds you of your life mission. Or your fitness buddy whom you barely know telling you to keep running because YOU can do it. And magically, you do it. It could be an artist friend who tells you he likes your blog and you want to keep going.

It’s one for all Mate. You take their crap they take yours.You grow together. Where would I be without people? I would probably have seen most of Austraaaalia. But hey, don’t we have all our life to do that?

For now , I’m enjoying every minute of this life , coming home to a noisy house ( I’m mostly responsible for the noise) , sharing my day with my 6 year old friend , my doubts and joys with my flatmate who undeniably became my best friend, sharing the gluten free lactose free dinner she made especially for me ( she rocks) And speak to our new cat. Blacky Noir Star.

And that Mate, is worth any Great Barrier Reef.

Saturday 11 June 2011

No G strings attached

‘’ Annabelle, you’re in charge of the new staff on trial today are you okay with it?’’ my manager at the posh restaurant said. What? if I mind RESPONSIBILITIES? I was born to have responsibilities. Working under pressure is my middle name. There I was , in charge of people. Telling them all these things they had to do, things that they should not forget that it’s all COMMON SENSE anyway. How empowering. And how easy it is to TALK. You just make things up as you go. And they take it so seriously these new people.
You would probably feel a bit superior to them , attached to your new responsibilities. If you could not see your scared self in them. Yes I had been there before. Many times. 2 weeks ago actually. So yeah I did let them learn, make mistakes, get stressed, it’s part of the show. But I also gave them that bit of comfort zone they needed. And in end I told them THE truth. ‘’ No one really knows what they’re doing. It’s all about pretending that you do’’
Same in Life. You’ve got to show that you know what you’re doing at all times. One of best test this week was singing the National Anthem in a school full of kids who knew it by heart. I did mumble through it with dignity. And, half way through I even felt it. The sense of belonging. I felt Australian, Mate. That’s when one of my friend decided to ask me ‘’ Why would a tourist like you come o a small town like Murwillumbah’’. A tou what? ‘’ Because I’m NOT a tourist. I like to live with the locals and get involved in a community’’ I smile, half upset to be called a freaking tourist. I was starting to realize how involved I actually got in the past months.
‘’ Dinner tonight?’’ Said mister Pink and Green Monster ( see previous post)
A tourist would call it good time at a local’s place. I call it a ‘’ DATE’’ . Like there was some sort a freaking future to it. A tourist would wear her only pair of jeans and her only sweater. I borrowed a sexy jacket from my friend. A tourist would buy food with her last dollars . I bought perfume. Bloody perfume. It was on special though.
SO , me , my make up, my Friend’s red jacket and my perfume go on a ‘’date’’. Happy times. After dessert , A tourist would have probably thought of what she was going to tell her friends back home ‘’ I hooked up with that cool dude in Oz , we had a fab time he was so funny , caring and… hang on I added him on Facebook I’ll show you his profile’’ but I thought ‘’ He’s great! Hang on. We’re not friends anymore now. Is this a relationship. No. Can’t be. Or is it?’’
I was still wondering how to approach the situation later that night ( you know , girls that ‘’ I don’t want to make plans but I’ve got flashes before my eyes ‘’ situation while the guy is snoring away next to you. Yeah that one. Let’s call it Feminine hallucination. I vaguely remember the promise I made to my dear girl friends in England ‘’ have the right priorities’’ when I moved the pillow and I found it. The reminder. That I was just passing by.
Oh these are my…. Hang on they’re NOT mine. They belong to another… woman.
I had done the girlfriend / wife police check before obviously ( far wiser when you’re French over here ) and I knew him long enough to know that no, there was no one permanent in his life. So there was no casualty, except for my dignity.
NOW. What would a normal woman with common sense do in that case. I hesitated between ‘’thanks for the present but I think they’re too small ’’ ( bitch) or ‘’ F**** B**** WTF is that’’ .
That’s when I heard it. The little voice in my head. The Truth. ‘’ Mate , can you look at this guy in the eyes and tell him that you’re going to hang around for him? Promise him you’d actually move in with him , That you would stop traveling and actually commit to this life? Can you ask him to love you and only you , when in YOUR head you’re already making plans to go teach English in Thailand ? . You can own if you want to buy. Otherwise you have to share. Stop kidding yourself , Mate’’
Bloody Wisdom. Always right. No, I can’t promise. So yes, what he does with HIS life is none of MY business. I’ve got to take responsibility for MY choices. And stop kidding myself. I don’t belong here. Or do I? But How about Thailand, Tibet, The Outback? Maybe…..
‘’ Stop thinking so loud I can hear you. What’s wrong?’’ Said the ‘’ Monster’’ next to me
My reply was the wisest thing I’ve ever said to a guy ‘’ What is right is far more interesting ‘’ And I stayed. For a little while longer. And a lot of stuff was right. And interesting.
Yeah. When you travel you don’t have time for what’s wrong.
Backpacking is the fine Art of ‘’seizing the day’’. You can Love but you can’t get attached to anyone or anything. Because you’ll be gone before you know it. Nothing or no one is really yours. All that you own fits in your backpack. You share everything else. But hey you also share bloody good times.
Have you ever heard 2 backpackers chatting?
You want to ask : ‘’ Are you guys best friends?’’ ‘’No we just met 40 minutes ago’’
That’s how I met 2 new friends the other night. John from Austria who’s traveling Australia on a motorbike , and Eiko from Japan who hopes to study here one day. There we were, 3 strangers in a cafĂ© in the middle of nowhere , trying to warm ourselves up with tiny little candles, sharing traveling stories. Like that time in Kuala Lumpur when I put shorts on and EVERYONE was stopping to look at me. HAHA. Or that other time when I was living in the jungle in Malaysia … We were talking like we’ve always known each other, like we’ve always LOVED each other.
Because Love is so easy to give, in the end, Mate. But please do not attach any string. The trip is too short for that.

Wednesday 8 June 2011

Australia's got talent

‘’ You’ll see, this job is easy. It’s just common sense’’ said my boss at the posh restaurant . Sure. Common. Sense. What the hell does that mean. Is that something people say when they can’t explain properly? Or is it something we ALL have. No because I’m missing mine. Shall I just add that to my resume? ‘’ People skills, bilingual, no common sense’’
In the past 5 months I’ve been a farmer, a cleaner, a manager, a dishwasher, a waitress, a front counter lady, a barista and a nanny. ‘’ use your common sense for f*** sake’’ . The ‘’ sorry I’m French’’ excuse kind of always made up for my lack of common sense. But no one kept me for my brilliant skills at the job. And that’s a little frustrating.
We all have different talents, my friends would say to me after yet another day at sucking at my job
People in their 30’s all know what they’re good at, right? I know great cooks, great interior designers, musicians, singers, gardeners, and baristas. Me? I’m just good at trying .
Me, Pip and her little 6 year old boy decided to open the Career Book , and pick a random job with our eyes closed. That will reveal our talent / future job ( yes that’s how life works mate. Who needs Job Centers) . Pip got Dietician. She is so good at cooking that it was probably the best option for her. She was very happy .Excitement. Little Dharni is a environmental scientist. Although he currently wants to be a Pirate, that sounds about right too. Super excitement. I could not wait for my turn. I was thinking humanitarian worker or psychologist.
WHAT? ENTERTAINER? Is that even a JOB? Yes look, it says clown here. All right so that’s my career. Some people go into politics, others save the world and I’m a bloody entertainer? I would not have taken it seriously if everyone I told about that did NOT say : ‘’ This is sooo you. Spot on! ’’ . And laughed.
I always wanted to be that scary person. You know that person who’s got so much charisma and authority that when she walks into a room everyone goes ‘’ shhhhh’’ . The woman you respect because she’s tough but fair. I ‘d like the little Dhani to say ‘’ Is it Annabelle looking after me tonight? She makes me work so hard , I have to respect the rules with her. And she’s such a great cook too’ But he doesn’t. It’s more like ‘’ Yay Annabelle is looking after me tonight! We’re going to play crazy games, do the homework with monsters and angels and a have a PJ competition. Then We will make up our own bedtime story which is going to get out of control . Yay! But please mum, can you cook dinner before you go?’’
I’ve tried. To be posh and serious and do what I’m told. But people always end up looking at me with that ‘’ come on mate, get REAL’’ look.
Freelance Entertainer could be a career .Not much money. Even though. You sometimes get tips for it. That guy gave me 10 dollars the other day just because I took his order in French. But it gives you smiles, laughter. So it’s a talent, right?
‘’Your talent makes you unique’’. I looked back at my week and thought How true is that?
Who else would call her boss / best friend in England with the intention of showing him how composed and emotionally balanced she had become, and starts crying her eyes off for no reason 3 minutes in the conversation. (I AM so mature now Lee. I swear.)
Who else would let a 6 year old cover her legs with drawings of Pink and Green Monsters 20 minutes before she ‘s due to go to dinner at a guy’s place. No the monsters did not come off. And yes I did spend the night. Now THAT’s talent.
Who else would have a 6 year old friend with whom she makes up loud barking songs on the way to school every morning?. We are soooo good at it. Was funny until I stopped next to a hot guy at the traffic light and my window was open. End of the song. Oh and no he s not my son. And I’m single. Smile.
Who else would pick the hottest Aussie Guy on CouchSurfing.com to go and stay with in Byron Bay, tell everyone about it and have the following reply ‘’ Sorry I just got back from my honeymoon in Japan. When did you want to come and visit us? ‘’ Now THAT’s entertainment. Where is my bloody red nose.
Who else would jump in the sea when it’s 10 degrees just because June is Summer in Europe. That was so amazing… Until I got back into my car and looked at myself in the mirror. Make up was far gone , messy hair and covered in sand. That’s when I remembered that I would probably see that guy a couple of minutes later ( identity protection. Let’s call him the Pink and Green Monster Guy) . He looked at me, laughed and said. ‘’ Dinner tonight?’’ Why not.
Because in the end ‘’ It’s not what you look like or what you DO for people that counts. It’s how you make them feel’’. And that, mate, IS talent.